Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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