It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
do herpes really smell.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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