As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
