I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it glows. i had to have it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
