I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
