is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
