If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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