I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
