I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
