check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
