was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I could make wine with my vomit
i think i have herpe
just one?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
