Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I accidentally had phone sex last night
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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