She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
