You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
