she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
