Too much gin, very little bucket
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize