She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
