I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
