ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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