Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
