"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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