people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this will be a night to untag.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize