I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm just crazy horny about you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize