Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When are your genitals available?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
