Tell her she can't have a vagina
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i've created a new STD.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
