I should be sponsored by Trojan
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
