He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
