I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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