I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
