apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
