I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's blow job season.
I can't turn off my feet"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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