sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude. I can hear the air.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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