so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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