My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
