so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
