I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
