Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
