i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Still dying that you shit outside
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
