I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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