Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
