One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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