Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
