I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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