soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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