I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
