i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The uberlube is also flammable
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
