He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
