Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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