I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
nutella sex= disaster
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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