Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
