I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The uberlube is also flammable
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
