when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
