i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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