I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
