Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
