NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So squirting runs in the family.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
