I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
