In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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