he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
