I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We need to rekindle our bromance
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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