you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
the raccoons are back...
Randomize