i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
