Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
home. puking in laundry basket.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
