Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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