She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
