Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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