his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize