it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
