with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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