Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
