beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize