Having a random hookup so left but love u
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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