mondays should just be called national damage control day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
